My ex long term boyfriend used to sneak me into his house in the middle of the night when his mum was asleep. This was because in the five years we were together I was never introduced to her, so was kept like a dirty secret. Knowing my luck the 'mum' was probably his secret wife. Maybe a bit of a far fetched theory as we were both in our teens but who knows? (clearly not me)
This particular visit was for a quickie. One so quick we didn't even make it upstairs to the bed but instead to the downstairs toilet which didn't have enough room for us both to stand up in. Having to be creative with such limited space he sat on the toilet seat (lid down obviously) and I straddled him. I was bouncing away merrily when we heard a loud sound. We paused thinking it was his 'mum' coming downstairs but there was no further noise so we carried on. A louder noise followed and again we paused and continued. When we'd finished we stood up and half the toilet seat lid fell into the toilet.
He told his 'mum' he had broken it by standing on the lid to try and kill a spider. This should have been my clue he was a master liar.
Lesson learned: Beware the man....who ignores the crack. AND always buy a wooden toilet seat.
Robbin da Good
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