The caramel series #1

I don't care how 'perfect' you and your partner are- he/she is guaranteed to piss you off. This is something I found hard to grasp and would often bite my tongue when Mr Caramel fucked me off.

Sometime on and I've realised the shut up method will build resentment. And boy does it build. I'd find myself watching TV and casting him the dirtiest looks I could produce, much to his bewilderment. That confused face would piss me off even more and I'd think how can he not know why! Errrr because the poor sod isn't a mind reader-that's why! (And tbh thank gosh he isn't ;)

 I thought I could bury angry feelings/murderous thoughts but after an incident in the kitchen where I exploded over a bacon sandwich I knew I couldn't.

Now don't get me wrong. I am probably one of the most laid back people but Mr Caramel has seen me really loose it. FYI I don't loose it in a dignified way. I got so angry after said  sandwich incident that I threw my glasses off my face and screamed like Tarzan. I then couldn't see to find them and he watched whilst I patted around the floor before eventually storming off, glasses-less and blind.

My point? Just fucking say if something has annoyed you. A simple I didn't like that/it pissed me off because of X, Y and Z is SO much better (and dignified) then a screaming match.

So stop and think. Are you angry with your partner? Have you ever TOLD he/she why? Spell it out people! If they don't listen then yeah be angry cos they're an ass pipe.

Robbin da Good

The caramel series

'The caramel series' is based on my current relationship. I say current but I really mean this is the man I think I will spend my life with. We've been together one and half years and lived together pretty much from the get go. Moving in with him so soon meant the sexy illusion was quickly blown. I learnt his farts could travel rooms and without weekly clippings his toenails suggested he could be half eagle (his mothers side if I had to guess).

So this series will be everything I have learned (and am still learning) about how to keep the fire burning. How to keep that deep level of love and respect which I believe is the foundation of any good, lasting relationship. This is everything from sex to buying eggs.

This particular segment will be published every Friday- starting 30.05.14. Check back tomorrow and feel free to share any tips you may have.

Robbin da Good

Beware the man....

I used to sneak my boyfriend of the time home to fuck- it was either that or the KFC toilets. I know I definitely preferred the former compared to banging in a tiny cubicle where the woman in the one next to us was either having an asthma attack or pushing out a huge shit.

So silent fucking it was with games of Connect Four  thrown in during the breaks. We'd normally play best of three and the loser would have to go down on the other one; I always won : )

The problem was he used to fuck with his mouth wide open or grimace like he was lifting something heavy. Little noises would escape him every now and again but that was the most passionate shit got. One night he was on top poking away when he started stroking my hair (on my head, this isn't set in the 60's). Now this struck me as strange enough to strain my neck to investigate what was going on because this guy was definitely not the hair stroking type. He tilted my head back down and the touching stopped but the fucking continued. We laid on my single bed together for a while after before I had to sneak him back out.

With him gone and alone downstairs the adrenaline had worn off and I no longer had to take pigeon steps to avoid the creaking floorboards. Full motion had returned and I could feel my ass cheeks sticking together. He either had Spider-Man cum or my vagina had collapsed from the front to the back from the shagathon.

I returned to bed to inspect with my legs up and a mirror in between. The Spider-Man theory was looking very likely as spreading my butt cheeks I could see a long sticky stretch of white- chewing gum.

OK it wasn't the 60's but it was a time before my crack had been introduced to wax so gum was literally stuck in my ass hair. It took a hot bath and shower gel to lubricate it off,. Thankfully/not so thankfully (depending on how you look at it) no ass hair was lost in the process.

Lesson learned: Beware the man.... Who chews gum in bed

Robbin da Good
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